This is 35

I am 35. It happened in a flash. I remember being a kid and being very aware that my mom was 36. Like that's the age when I understood she was human and a real person with her own views and opinions that may differ from mine. And I, today, am one year away from that age. I'll have a 3 year old soon, a 9 year old soon and a 5 year old so0n. All very old ages but 35 feels settled. My husband is waaaay older than me so I at least have that. And my short stature and amazing skin allows me to pass for a younger more mature person randomly, which is nice even when that stuff doesn't really bother me.

I stayed home for part of the day working on my plants, laundry, dishes and taking care of babies. It was well needed rest to not run around as much as I have been this past week and take a little break. I did some homework and did my devotional which really just seems like I'm making lifestyle changes that are sticking and I spent some time with the kids. I fed them mcdonalds, we went to target for box cake and we just took it easy. Today was playgroup but with my plan for going out tonight, it just made sense to stay home. I can't believe I wanted to just stay here and get house stuff done. How very 35 of me.

As a last minute idea, I set up a dinner with friends and family. Lots from church, some from family and others from just life. I was only unable to invite about 3 people I would've loved to have there but I know their childcare situation or their distance from Chicago and I didn't want to hurt feelings or make people feel obligated to come all the way to Chicago and have a long drive home. Now, I just get to feel guilty for not inviting them. For the people that did come, there were tons of people. I called the restaurant this morning to ask about seating and even though they don't take hard reservations, they made a space for us. And dinner was so good. I have to say, me organizing at the last minute was awesome. It was just a damn good time. And you know what, I think I want to celebrate like this every year. Try a new place to eat and just celebrate. There is something about being with people and just being present. And yeah, we took pics and yeah, they'll be on Social media but dang, it was just such a good time and I felt hella special. Like really special. These weeks have been so busy but this didn't feel busy. It felt like a breath of fresh air to just be around people I love and chat and eat fried chicken with butter slathered on it. Yeah. You read that correctly.

The only thing I wanted a little more of was my kids and husband. Yesterday was a horrible dinner even though we were celebrating my birthday and tonight I just missed them. Time is so so precious to me and they love me so much, even though I'm probably a tyrant. My eldest started singing Happy Birthday to me at around 6:50 this morning. When I picked him up from school he also sang to me since he knew my actual birth was later than 7 am. He is just so so thoughtful. I really like that one.

I went to the doctor the other day. I thought it was important to start taking care of myself by age 35. At 35, I should be a real adult. Not a half hearted one. I should be an adult with some kind of will power, consistency, some kind of healthy eating habits and some decent amount of people in my life that I love and enjoy. That's what I'm trying for. I don't know what 35 is supposed to be for people. Maybe it's having babies or getting married or finishing school. For me, I just kind of want to be the better version of who I used to be. I want to be what God wants me to be. I want to be what my mind and heart want me to be for my husband and children. I know not all of it is possible, all the time but it's possible some of the time if I can get a little organized and man up. Today is a day like every other day but with lots of love from everyone. Nothing is different except that damn box I check on surveys. Everything else is leading up to what Christ has for me. I don't want greatness, I just want to share some truth and love and love on others and help people. This post is all about me so I'll round it out with a piece of scripture that my friend sent me tonight. It is a good passage for what I tried to explain to her about how I'd like my blog to be.

Colossians 2:2  My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,

That about sums it up. I'm 35 and I finally feel like living for Christ and others, outside of myself while simultaneously making time to better myself. Happy birthday woman.