The Good, The Bad and The Stinky

I've been up to my elbows in poop. Between 2 kids, we've literally started a small landfill and although I'm hopeful they're on the mend, I'm not sure when the poop party will actually end. A lot of my time has been spent staying up late reading or watching videos to keep myself awake when waiting for the next moment full of poop to arrive. I don't sleep well anyway but these times I'm even more anxious. Some of the things I find comfort in are Clorox Bleach, Soap, Hot water, Laundry and Dishwasher machines on Sanitize and of course, the Bible. I'm sure if I mentioned that I'm a Christian, it may be in passing but I am and I'm proud. Anyway, the entire reason why I mention that is because I found so much solace in His word. Just meditating when I couldn't think of a better thing to do or was bored of all I'd seen online. His word always pointed me in the right direction and helped me to realign my focus on Him. What happens, it's up to Him. What He allows is good, even if we perceive it as bad. What I do with it is up to me. My reaction can either be graceful, which it hasn't really been or it can be immature. I'm going to harshly judge myself with that last quip but it's true. I'm still growing and I'm thankful that the babies won't remember most of this and that my husband understands the kind of crazy I am when illness hits. One of my favorite things I read and reread is

Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law

The word that kept coming up was forbearance. I've heard it and I've seen it but I still had to look it up. Dictionary.com listed it as: patient self-control; restraint and tolerance.

Tolerance. Patient self-control. Restraint.

Tolerance of my situation. Patient self-control in my situation. Restraint when I can't control what I want to control and accepting that I can't control it. It's heavy and meaty and it's something I'm learning all about in this overwhelming season. I'm so overwhelmed. But I'm still hopeful. I feel His presence. I'm so glad He is close to me and I am closer to Him for having this season.