Preparations

Renee Diaz
Feb 5, 2020
3 min read

This week is the week of all weeks! We have been working hard to prepare for our IF: gathering event, which is basically a Christian TED talk for women. I really enjoyed it last year and thought of it as a kick start to my new spiritual path. I think I'll speak there one day. Until then, I'm helping with small projects and food for the event at our church with open doors to our location, for everyone who registered in the Chicagoland area. It's been a season of illness for lots of people and our congregation. It has been hard to prepare when things keep falling apart and kids, spouses or we get sick but I still feel so much hope in Christ. My entire family has been sick for about a month. It just keeps circulating. I've been pretty healthy, with the exception of the migraine from hell the other day, and it scares me that people around me are dropping like flies but still, all that hope I have in Christ is helping me to keep stable as I panic.

In the Beholding and Becoming book by Ruth Chou Simons, she mentioned a heavy season with a child and the lack of sleep she and her husband experienced. It's par for the course with kids but something about that season was very reminiscent of my family and our experiences with our children and their lack of sleep. Something that stood out was her husbands response in that time. He was waking up early to spend time with the Lord, even if he didn't sleep well the night before. I wasn't able to do that for years but now it seems we've turned a corner and I understand why we have to push sleep aside sometimes. In his words to Ruth about why he wanted to make God a priority, he talked about how he couldn't afford not to. My heart hears that so much.

As Christians our number one priority is to remain in Christ. That relationship is integral to our growth, our faith and our overall mental and emotional well being. I keep crying out to Him with all the broken parts I'm experiencing, from illness insecurities to financial burdens and I know He hears me. I can rest in His plans. I can rest in His plans for me. I may not know what they are but He is a good God and has no plans to harm me. I can trust Him because He always shows up. I just love Him so much.

Last year we had a very difficult year. I've mentioned it in other posts that the revolving door of illness took us by the hand and threw us in the depths of the ocean but on top of that, I was experiencing lots of emotional breaks and was holding on the best I could. By nature I'm anxious and when illness rears its ugly head, my first response is to get away from it. I don't eat well, I don't sleep well and basically just collapse internally. I can't do that though. It's not good for me. So, now I have devised methods to leaning in to Christ. Sometimes it looks like prayer throughout the day, other times it looks like listening to only podcasts or books on faith. And now, as I learn about reading scripture daily, I can add that to my list. Have you ever prayed with your face to the ground and poured yourself out to the Lord? I do it all the time. I do it because I'm scared and don't really know what else to do. Last year, I would've just hit up my vices. I would've gone numb and I would've considered dropping ministry and relationships to just turn inward. I'm a changed person and although He is still growing me, I find so much hope in Him and His provisions. I've seen some of it and He is wonderful. Anyway, this whole thing was supposed to be about preparing but I guess it kind of went off on a tangent and now it's more about preparing the spirit, heart and mind, instead of just journals and food. Sounds good to me.