Creating a balance

I recently took a little break to get back into the flow of regular life. The IF conference is great but being on a team with other people and meeting new people and serving them and others and a sick family have made me tired. Not a bad tired but I just needed a little break. I've been waking up early to spend time reading the word and just sitting quietly with the Lord before the crazy begins. It's been so refreshing. I've still had some hard moments and a lot of feelings with relationships, some sneaky bitterness tried to take root, but overall the time with the Lord has been the most helpful. I've also been working on some small projects for my Etsy shop. I don't think I'll be up and running like I planned to be, it's already a month over due, but I'm taking my time and trying to keep focused and do little tasks every day. It's why I haven't blogged. Also, I was incredibly overwhelmed by the #CarbonAugust class and all but quit for the time being. I can't commit to doing 100 days of work for 100 days on a project I'm not sure I should be focusing my attention on. It seems more and more like I should just be staring at God, so that's the plan until He tells me to do something else. I did also reject a movie review because I definitely didn't feel like it's something I wanted to do. Like, for sure, it's nice to be a paid blogger but I don't want to be paid for things I'm not fully committed to or enjoying. I have on the other hand, doubled down on Amazon reviews and I'll be sharing some of that here in the coming weeks. One of the biggest take away's with my time with Jesus, is just the amount of time I have with Him being so limited. That sometimes feels like a direct reflection of the time I have to do things with my Husband and kids. There is just never enough time. It's like, before I can catch my breath, the day is over and already leading into the next day. It's not awful but it's a hard realization for me when I look to my almost 9 year old and see that he's just so big. I have pictures that show that we spent time together but I still feel like I may have missed some of it. Like, I didn't soak it all up. I want to soak it all up still. So, I'll blog when I can, I'll make stuff for Etsy when I can, I'll have coffee with friends when I can and I'll do my class one day at a time, as my life permits on my schedule. I think this is part of the balance. With last year being a year of No and this year being more focused on balance, it still sometimes feels overwhelming and absolutely not balanced. Then, I take some time with God, getting up extra early and realize, we still have a good amount of time together, so lets just see what we can do. Also, coffee helps.