Adding and Subtracting

I have now been a homeschool mom, officially, for two full months and yet somehow I'm still only on week 3. Okay, okay, I did restart the curriculum and then took some time off to get our home and lives situated. Over these past 2 months, I have learned a lot about grammar rules, a lot about how my kids are always eager to learn and when we need to pump the brakes because mom needs rest. I really want to focus on homeschool but I realized pretty quickly, that in order for me to meet certain goals, I need to make some real, tangible changes in my everyday life. Like you, I have many other responsibilities that cannot fall by the wayside. From Ministry, to small business and being a thoughtful wife and mom, they're all too important to let go and I don't want any of those things to fall away. This whole season has been a learning process but I know what works now, and what really won't work for us, ever. Hence, the title of this blog post, Adding and Subtracting. Also, I was being cute since I'm a teacher.

In my last post I discussed how we started homeschool and then ended up starting it over again because I skipped around so much and I felt like no matter what we did, we were completely unprepared. We did have some more moments like that this month but it was more like we picked up where we left off, if we had an unexpected break.

The way the curriculum is set up, you read a whole bunch of information in your teachers manual and then follow a schedule broken down by lesson, then teach that lesson with information in the teachers manual because it's supposed to be taught a certain way. I constantly referred back to how to teach each lesson so much so, that I ended up with sticky notes all over each manual to easily refer back to for each subject. This is why it's very important to read through each manual BEFORE you begin teaching this particular curriculum. I learned really quickly that this is not a "wing it" type of teaching style. It is work. It is easy to follow if you read everything before hand. It's easier if you take time to really set everything up before hand. It's easier if you understand what you're teaching. None of those things were how I started and you can imagine how I faltered. Some of the schedule is basic (Prayer, Pledge, Christian Studies) and not everything is taught daily. The 4th grade curriculum is different from my Jr. Kinder because it has some variety to the schedule sewn into it. One day I'll teach astronomy, another day I'll teach Greek Mythology. You kind of get into the rhythm of things as you teach and slowly learn the formula for how your Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will differ from your Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's definitely easy to follow once you get the hang of it but I find it annoying to have to flip back and fourth between pages as I'm learning how to do this. I definitely didn't memorize how I was supposed to teach each subject and fell short in the beginning.

The schedule itself doesn't really have room for teacher prep because that is legit teaching time. All prep needs to be done either the night before or the Sunday night before the week. I usually do it right after class for the following day or during any down time we might have while my eldest is studying quietly or reading. I've also been known to stay up late or miss making dinner (leftover nights) so that I can really make cool crafts. Honestly, I wish I would've prepped over the summer like I originally intended. I still have hope that I can prep larger portions as I work on getting ahead. At the end of September I was able to prep 2 weeks worth of Jr. Kinder curriculum and toss it all in a binder. I was extra proud of that move. I hold on to their works and check them out periodically. It's nice to see the fine motor skill progress with coloring, letters and scissors. One thing about following the schedule is that sometimes my kid is ready to learn and other times, he just isn't. One day it may take 20 minutes for spelling to be completed and the next it could take 35 minutes. While it's important to teach children a routine and teach them to keep to a schedule, I think that's had a negative effect on my 4th grader in the past and I don't want him to stress out with the amount of work he has and the time it's going to take. I know classical teaching isn't supposed to be "fun" per se but I want my kiddos to enjoy learning. I want to teach classical art but I want to build their spirits by spending time crafting together and helping them build on their own creativity. I also want to teach them beyond the classics because a lot of that is geared toward European, Greek and Roman history which only allows perspective from one group. As a Hispanic mom, it is crucial for me to teach my children our culture, our history, artists and great writers. I purposefully teach a classical curriculum because I want my kids to learn all they can and to teach them things that I either don't know or have forgotten. I want to give them a hard curriculum to expand their minds but ultimately I want to foster more than academia. Being the smartest in the room means nothing is you lack character and compassion. Thankfully the Myself and Others book we use for Jr. Kinder has been really helpful with the kiddos understanding what good character looks like and how to use our manners.

One of the ways I am able to make time for all of us to craft and learn things that are outside of Memoria Press is random memory drills. It's not all moments of the day, it's not structured in any way and it's not something I'm trying to force but I do want to know what my son has retained. If I pass by him in the hall and he's not running off somewhere in a hurry, I'll immediately drill him on facts he is learning. This one move means he's not going to be sitting at the table studying the flash cards, every day. He might do flash card study one day a week but it's mostly real world drills, having fun. So far, it is proving effective because every time I say "hey kid, what's the capitalization rule #3 and give me examples", he's able to recite it with ease. If he misses a word, he'll run to the board, read it and correct himself. This also gives me a chance to brush up on some of my own learnin' as I memorize these facts along with him. Clearly, these teaching methods have been made up in my home. Again, I'm new to teaching so who knows?

The secret to me being a successful homeschool teacher has been this: I have tossed out all timeframes. I had this whole idea (and felt tons of pressure) of hitting perfection and meeting the expectations of the schedule and curriculum. I was trying to prove that anyone can do this curriculum no matter the circumstances because if someone like me, who's late to everything and can't stay organized can do it, anyone in a similar position can do it too. The truth of the matter is, I'm a healthier person if I can take my time and make my own timeframes. There was a day 2 weeks ago where I was at a loss. I felt like a failure and cried to my husband as I explained how overwhelmed I was. He offered his help with whatever I needed but I didn't want to impose on his already busy schedule which is typical stay at home mom guilt. He's happy to help but I wanted to do it by myself. I was the one, after all, who said I wanted to take on this endeavor. Right then and there, in tears, I told him I wanted to take a week off. He, in his most passive way - which is his only way to chat with your crying wife as you're working, said "cool" and even though I didn't need his blessing, it felt good that he heard me and understood where I was coming from. Since we began homeschool, a lot of my home and life has felt off. I did reorganize my books on a random day and cleared out what we grew out of or didn't use anymore but the school room itself was still too busy, as was the rest of the house. Over the last two weeks, I spent time working on my home, sorting through bins, donating, sorting through closets, deep cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, fridge and doing ALL the laundry AND putting it away and now my house is clean. Not everything is organized, there is still a pile of donations in the kids bedroom that now houses all 3 kids, but it's so much less cluttered and I feel that weightiness of disorganization lifted. All this time off gave me a moment to refocus my eyes to Jesus and made some time for me to find a good balance to be successful with homeschool. And that gave me peace of mind to start school fresh Monday morning. While it's a wonderful idea to finish a school day around noon, it's just not always going to work. I can knock out the Junior Kindergarten, and really engage those little minds but I can't do that at the same time I'm teaching 4th grade. One thing about having a clean house is the reorganization of space, chores and the new found time we have to take care of other things. I'm not foolish enough to believe this will be a life changing event and our home won't get messy again, but anything is possible. It's certainly become easier to maintain with all hands on deck and everyone generally knowing that most items in our home have a place. I am able to better prioritize meal prep. I have some self care time built in to the day and get up at 6:30. During that time, I can spend time with Jesus and drink coffee. I knock out emails, I have taken some time this week to work on my blog and just put a little more effort in all areas of my life. In order for me not to need weeks off and cry to my husband, I need to take care of myself and I don't begin school until I feel emotionally ready. Some days it's 7:30 am and some days, and you'll gasp here, it begins at 10. We do entire the curriculum, just not within a schedule. We take breaks for the first snowfall of the season and hot cocoa. We read something at night if we don't get to it during the day. I listen to the kids as they ask questions and feel like I hear them well and are able to have good conversation. I felt like sometimes I would rush the kids when we'd read or push them along when we needed to move to the next subject. That wasn't me being a good teacher. Now, I let the stories I read to the little ones simmer. I allow time for hugs and I want life and school intertwined. I've learned that I also want the best curriculum to teach from and I'm grateful to have Memoria Press. I never would have made this curriculum. There's just something about this new schedule that allows a slower pace of life and gives us all time to listen to each other more. A big thing with removing the timeframe for me, was an opportunity I was quashing and could've missed if I didn't pay attention. My daughter likes to help and asks to cook most mornings. I was so worried about my schedule and starting on time that I rejected her. Every. Single. Day. I did this maybe 2-3 days in a row and quickly realized the pattern and decided that the next day would be different. The schedule is a guide but it doesn't have to be the standard, just an option. The next morning I invited her to join me in the kitchen and make pancakes. She ate a raw egg. It ruined my life and I'm cringing as any good germaphobe would as I remember back but it was a great moment. It feels so much better to invite her to help than to ask her repeatedly if she can leave the kitchen because we need to start school. Another thing, if I really want to cook before little ones invade my kitchen, I just wake up a little earlier and have food ready. They can help with drinks.

I'm sure there was a lot of me driving the point for this no schedule and new life we have. I am sure I was redundant and probably made my point way back at the beginning somewhere but I really wanted to share how my life is healthier and how I made some changes to make this curriculum and this new home school stuff, work for our family. I always intended for it to work for us. Just so happens that the best I can say is the curriculum rocks but that schedule has got to go.

- Renee

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