13 years together and we forgot to say Happy Anniversary on 1/7

I am in a class right now for branding and social media blah blah blah. I think influencer or something. Shows you how much of a fit I am for that I guess. I have been having such a hard time as a blogger, trying to identify who I am talking to, who I am sharing with and for what purpose. As I write, I am just a few hours shy of being 35. I never thought past 17 as a young kid, and I didn't know what was after 25. Now as I hit 35, I am expectant of great things to come. I want to do so much sharing with people about the 35 years I've lived. Part while being a believer of Christ and part not so much. During a homework assignment I kept coming across this question "what do you have that is an advantage that others might not have? The thing that kept popping up was my support system and my husband. I have people who pour into me day in and day out (I also have little babies who take but they don't spoil anything). I have my husband who has let me buy whatever I want to pursue every idea I have. Anytime I need or want anything, his response is "send me an email", so he can acquire it, inquire about it or remember to discuss it with me later. I think some of the reason I don't thrive is fear that I'll disappoint. We have a budget for a reason and he's so encouraging and helpful that it wouldn't matter if I blew some money on work related stuff. Sometimes the fear of failure makes me not move because I don't want to mess anything up after I've paid for it. I mean, even now, we don't have a "web hosting" budget but it's still paid for through our account. I guess this post is just going to be me rambling about the man I love. He's honest and funny and just a good good man. He is a rock in a storm and a support beam to our home. He's just all things wonderful. And for no reason except that's who he is. I don't know who I would be without his patience or goodness. I don't deserve it. He is the best example of what a man should be. He is someone I prayed for. It's not been mentioned in my posts before but my dating history is not the best. It was usually crappy people who treated me less than and drinking, emotional or physical altercations would take place. It took me years to break from those bonds and the day I came to my husband and told him I was finally over an ex his response was "that's so great! I'm so happy for you. I know it's been hard to get over". I felt like I had been unfair to him the entire time because I hadn't gotten past some of the deep hurtful feelings but all he saw was that I was healed. We were 4 years into our relationship at that point. I was laying in bed thinking about how I didn't want to write tonight. I keep debating about how I should blog. Do I stick to the plan and write every single day for a year to see how I improve, add consistency and then see if I can sell my work to advertisers and companies or do I take some time to get some really meaty posts written and pop them out once or twice a week? I think I'd like to do both. I think I'll just do my best and hope for the best and hope that people will read these words. And I really want to show how Christ has changed me. I don't want people to look at me and see that I'm doing all this amazing stuff on my own because me alone, I have no will power. He gives me endurance to pick up my laptop at 10:40 at night to write. And he also gave me the idea to write about my husband.

My husband and I have known each other since we were younger. I was 12, he was 15. I thought he was the nicest guy I had ever met. I thought he was cute. He swiftly rejected my 12 year old advances and then we just remained friends. Really I was best friends with his sister but he was always around. I didn't necessarily pine for him but I do remember really liking him when I was 18 and had just moved back to the city. I remember thinking he was going to marry the girl who he was dating. He was supposed to pick her up from work one day and we were hanging out playing Monopoly. I remember glancing at the time and I knew he was late to pick up his girlfriend and we just kept playing. Yeah. I did that. On purpose. She was furious. I was only in town for 2 months before I moved back to TX and went back to that awful relationship among the other awful relationships, and I kind of just thought that when I came back he'd be married. When I gave my life to Christ I moved back to Chicago by way of his sister ( and God ) and went right back to another broken relationship. After that didn't work out and while my husbands then girlfriend broke up with him, I waited a 2 month mourning period for the both of us and then went in for the kill. His ex knew as soon as she heard that we were dating, that we would get married. And everyone else knows, I knew that too. He was still the same sweet Rick I knew but he'd been in a real relationship, had been broken and hurt and was still not fazed by that. Dating in the beginning was awful for my friendship with his sister and in turn awful for my relationship with him. There were years of turmoil but the Lord is good and sovereign over all and we are a better couple for dealing with some of the hard stuff early on in the relationship. I wasn't always the most mature and I still regret this one fight at his birthday party but so much growth has taken place due to his maturity and wisdom. He's just so smart. And he doesn't feel, the way I feel. There is something very different about how he cares and doesn't care about somethings. And he balances and stabilizes everyone around him. Especially, me. When I think of how matriarchs are the glue in family, I kind of think of my husband. He brings people together and he keeps people sticking together. He is just amazing. I don't think this post will do him justice. I don't think there are enough words to speak about his greatness. I almost feel like I'm talking about God and maybe that is why I love God the way I do. I just love my husband with such respect. He's honorable. Maybe I should've just listed out a bunch of words about him. Here are some things I'll share that won't have any kind of theme transition.

He once wrote me a letter for every day of the year. He did it in an excel spreadsheet. It's pages and pages long. It was almost a diary for us.

He once sent me emails every day hitting on me. Half jokes from the internet but rewritten and daily. He did that for like a year or at least lots and lots of month, just because.

I baptized him. I don't think I said all the words correctly but Jesus knows what's up.

He is why I nursed all 3 of our children. He spurred me on. He stayed home with me the first year of my eldest sons life. It was a tight budget and amazing time of life. I so so so miss that life. I miss the slower pace. I miss the quiet and the music playing but mostly I miss the presence. I miss my baby boy. Anyway. My husband always encouraged me to pump and to nurse. With our second he encouraged me to nurse and told me we'd be fine when he was showing up 6 weeks early. With our third, I cried at the edge of the bed because the contractions that cramped in my body while nursing hurt so much and I was so tired and sore. He was there rubbing my back and consoling me - or sleeping lol.

He is the guy who sat at my first craft show where I made like $75 after table and materials. He sat for hours with me at other shows after that and he encouraged me to attend whatever craft show I could when he knew I was having a down period. He still sends me craft show links...

He is also the person who prays for me. He is the one I cry with. He's the one I yell at. He's the one who loves me anyway and always accepts my apologies. He doesn't yell or shout or treat me badly. He's loving and kind and the only thing that really bothers me is, he is snoring as I type.

When we had the year off of work, he took a job with the US census and went door to door to make some extra cash. He is always trying to get a second job to help pull us out of debt. He is also the guy who would go couponing with me and help me sell whatever I got for cheap. He also taught me about how I was under selling and wasn't making enough money to sell these things. He helps me at yard sales and fleamarkets. He watches my hustle and encourages.

He once asked me to marry him on the first night, in our first apartment. He also married me at city hall and took me to a forest preserve to go hiking and laughed begrudgingly when I wouldn't go in because of bugs. Also, tonight we celebrated my birthday early because I have plans with friends on the actual day. When he picked up our pizza the girl read all the crazy ingredients and he said "yep, that's it" and new all the ingredients I picked. He also gave me 3 wonderful children and let me pick our pup at the pound.

He is a remarkable man. That's really all I have to say. Amen.